Never Tell a Determined Woman She Can't
May is International Victorious Woman Month. Every woman who has molded her challenges into victories is worth celebrating.
As you know, I’m retracing my steps with renowned primatologist Dian Fossey, a victorious woman. Dian faced many challenges in her fight to change the course of extinction for mountain gorillas. One of those challenges was her fear of heights. There were no readily available resources for Dian to get help back in 1967, when she founded Karisoke. Today, there are hundreds of resources to help us with our fears.
I bet you've overcome some challenges that have taken your life to the next level. This month I want to share my experience dealing with a phobia.
I don’t exactly know why I sometimes feel compelled to do certain things that scare the bejeezus out of me. I’m terrified of heights, yet some of the coolest things in the world are at high altitudes, Machu Picchu, Mount Everest, Lake Titicaca, hot air balloon rides, and mountain gorillas.
Climbing to Tiger’s Nest Monastery
The way it happened with Tiger’s Nest was I saw a breathtaking photo of the Buddhist monastery perched at 10,000 feet on the side of a cliff above the Paro Valley in Bhutan. I stared at the photo for a long time then closed my eyes and imagined myself sitting on a bench outside the monastery, meditating. Meditation has been a healing tool for me for many years and so, I fell in love with the idea of meditating at Tiger’s Nest and just couldn’t get it out of my head. I talked my husband and daughter into taking a family trip to Bhutan, Vietnam, and Thailand.
Overcoming Fear of Heights
But this time, I wanted a different climbing experience. I ordered a copy of a meditation CD called “Overcome Fear of Heights,” by Darren Marks, and listened to it for five consecutive nights before my daughter Dawn and I tackled Tiger’s Nest.
The morning of the climb, the torn meniscus in my right knee was acting up, so I put on a knee brace, and the bunion on my foot was killing me, so I bandaged it and took two Advil. Our guide offered my daughter and me walking sticks as we began the climb from seven thousand feet to ten thousand feet. There were rocks and loose dirt on the narrow path as I searched for level ground to keep my knee stable. The only smooth part of the path happened to be on the cliff side of the mountain. I crept over to the edge and did what I never do—I looked down—and I wasn’t afraid! No watery knees, no stomach doing flip flops, holding my breath, nausea, or trembling. I was strangely calm.
Meditating with Monks
We passed hundreds of multicolored prayer flags fluttering on sticks along the path. The flags were hung high because Bhutanese believe prayers carried on the wind benefit others. It took two and half hours to get to the monastery, I shared my vision of meditating at Tiger’s Nest with our guide while we climbed. Once we got there he took us on a tour. He ended the tour in a prayer room where twenty monks in orange robes sat cross-legged meditating. There was an empty spot between two of the monks and our guide gestured for me to sit there while my husband and daughter waited outside. I was confused. Was an ordinary person allowed to meditate with monks? I knew we weren’t allowed to touch them but our guide lifted his eyebrows and pumped his palm toward the monks again, so I sat between them and began to meditate. Tears of joy began flowing within a few minutes. I couldn’t believe it! Not only was I fulfilling my dream to meditate at Tiger’s Nest—but I was doing it in a room full of monks.
Why Suffer?
We all have fears whether it’s spiders, snakes, or heights. It had never occurred to me to DO something about my fear of heights. I’d never let it stop me from doing anything I really wanted to do (skiing isn’t one of them), I simply suffered through the experience. Now, there are hundreds of resources available. I find meditations the most helpful. Imagine being able to find help for just about every problem, phobia, or issue you have. Audible Books has six self-help books alone for fear of heights. Amazon has over thirty pages of books to help overcome every fear you can imagine.
So, my advice is to stop living in fear and find a helpful resource online for what terrifies you. You deserve less stress and more fun in your life.
Be Your Own Hero
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